There is no shortage of scandals in the evangelical church these days. Many of our leaders are stealing from churches and associations, cheating on their wives, or outright abandoning them. Hypocrisy abounds and it seems like every month or so there is some other high-profile, Christian superstar whose gross, secret sins find him out and bring significant damage to marriage and ministry. Such news always catches my attention, but it has little impact on me personally because I do not know these men, and generally have not heard for them until their scandal. What has had continual, significant impact on me throughout the years is seeing men I know, and have looked up to, fall from grace.
I have watched a zealous, evangelistic, biblically informed friend give up and jump head first into a life of immorality. He never denied the gospel to be true, but claimed he was never truly converted and just walked away. I watched another young man who formerly appeared to be walking with Jesus with great care reject it all for the things the world offers. I had a close friend who was a great theologian, a good teacher/evangelist who produced some very good fruit grow to be so overtaken by pride that he left his family and little children to pursue his own sinful interests. I have seen other leaders, men that I knew well and admired, abandon their spouses or lose their ministry because their secret moral failure had found them out. At one point in my life I honestly felt like I was left almost all alone, standing by myself, covered in the blood of my friends who had fallen and died - asking, “Why am I still standing? I am just as screwed up as everyone else, just as tempted with sin. What have I done to protect myself?” I certainly was never foolish enough to think of myself as more spiritual than those who fell morally. Watching my friends fall was not only frightening, but discouraging. Perhaps, I often thought, it is only a matter of time before I fall in the same way.
Over the years I have talked with a lot of Christians who have shared the same fear. How can they stand when so many others have fallen before them? Is it even possible to persevere in faith and godliness when surrounded not only by temptation but by so much failure and moral collapse among men formerly held in high esteem? William Gurnall said that many Christians lose hope of persevering when,
seeing such, whose gifts they so much admired, lie before them, wallowing in the blood of their slain profession: [from being] zealous professors, to prove perhaps fiery persecutors; [from being] strict performers of religious duties, [to prove] irreligious atheists: no more like the men they were some years past
The Christian in Complete Armour (pp. 14, 15)
But the failure of the men we know should not only be a discouragement to us. We should let it have a positive effect on us as well.
When we see those who have fallen morally:
1. Mourn over it.
See the awfulness of sin, and the devastation that comes from a self-directed life. Learn to hate the sinfulness of sin.
The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate. (Pr. 8:13)
2. Be warned by it.
Yes, you too can fall. The potential for every wickedness lies in your heart, just as it does in mine, just has it did in those who have fallen. Be stirred to greater care of your soul, life, family and church.
3. Repent.
Take the opportunity to examine yourself and confess your sins carefully and precisely; addressing both those sins of omission and of commission. Look to those “root sins” that bear fruit in your lives and tear them out.
4. Let it draw you close to Jesus.
Let the failure of others compel you to cling more tightly to the Savior. Men will fail both God and let us down, but our hope is not the men who go before us. Our confidence of continuing in the faith is not rooted in becoming more like those we admire, but in abiding in Jesus (see What Jesus Demands of the World, Demand #7 by John Piper).
5. Surround yourself with men who will encourage you and hold you accountable.
When men are walking with Christ together, not attempting to go it alone, they are much more likely to remain strong and persevere.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! (Ecc. 4:10)
And be encouraged that though many may fall, many more - even Jesus himself - will cheer you on as you persevere in holiness.
Christians, God and angels are spectators, observing how you [conduct] yourselves like children of the Most High; every exploit your faith doth against sin and Satan causeth a shout in heaven; while you valiantly prostrate this temptation, scale that difficulty, regain the other ground you even now lost out of your enemies’ hands. Your dear Savior, who stands by with a reserve for your relief at a pinch, his very heart leaps within him for joy to see the proof of your love to him and zeal for him in all your combats; and will not forget all the faithful service you have done in his wars on earth; but when thou comest out of the field, will receive thee with the like joy as he was entertained himself at his return to heaven of his Father.
William Gurnall, ‘Armour (pg. 17)
19 Comments
I too have seen several men who were preaching God’s Word fall, and wonder, as you, ‘Is it going to happen to me’ My prayer is for God to keep me in His hand and keep me from evil and from doing evil.
I am praying that for other preachers and pastors as well
I wonder, haven’t you already fallen? Aren’t you a fallen creature already?
You are assuming that somehow the outright moral failure of a person is uncommon. On the contrary, it is as common as the rain, and is true of all of us.
Do you turn an eye when your neighbor walks by? Do you allow yourself an evil, lustful thought about another? Do you engage in gossip, character assasination, or course jesting? Have you ever fudged on your taxes, or gone to the wrong website and stayed there? Are you prideful, vengenful, unforgiving, or inhospitable?
I would say that the number one thing to do when you see a friend fall morally is to say, “welcome to the club of the fallen.” We are all there, and even the slightest evil in your heart is as offensive to Christ as the harshest sinner. Until people realize that, they will continue to fall in very major, public ways, maybe because that is what it took for God to get their attention.
Jason, I would not disagree with most of what you have said. All sin, any sin, is enough to separate us from God forever - our only hope is Jesus alone. We are all alike as sinners.
But I would encourage you to read again what I wrote. There is a difference between those who walk away from their family - remaining unrepentant and those who, like all men, struggle to love their wives as Christ loved the church, though are seeking his grace to love fully. There is a difference between the man who freely admits he is sinful and the hypocrite who pretends to be what he is not, while condemning what he is in others. Ultimately, what I am talking about is how discouraged many feel when we see our friends/leaders walk away from the faith or are discovered to be hypocrites.
Joe, helpful. Needed it. Thanks bro.
I appreciate what you’re saying, Joe. I don’t disagree, but what I hear you saying is that you don’t want to commit a sin so egregious that you would have to leave your ministry.
My point is that you already have. If what is in your heart were made public, it would cause such shock that you would certainly be drummed out of the ministry. How do I know this? Because we all have the capability to commit the worst sins. For you to place yourself on a level of holiness above those of your friends who have experienced divorce, adultery, abandonment of the faith, etc., just because you have not done so publicly, is to kid yourself.
I apologize if I seem obtuse. I don’t mean to. It is frustrating to me when I see people place themselves on a moral pedestal, simply because they haven’t committed “the big ones,” at least not in public. I cannot mesh that with what Jesus said about hating a brother being tantamount to murdering him, or lusting after a woman being the same as committing the act of adultery with her.
As for people walking away from their family, I would remind you that there are always two sides to every story. The innocent victims in these situations are not always as innocent as you may think. And to label them unrepentent is to short change the power of prayer. They may not be repentent today, but who knows about tomorrow?
There is a great Phil Keaggy song called “It Could Have Been Me.” Have you heard it? It addresses these kinds of issues, but in a way that recognizes the hypocrisy in all of us. The idea that, given the right circumstances, the right combination of deceit, discouragement, and disillusionment, we could all walk away from our families, we could all commit adultery. And recognizing that fact causes us to do a couple of things. First, it causes us to react with radical compassion for those friends you mention. Second, it causes us to lean even harder on the Savior, recognizing that we are in no way any better than anyone else, but all in need of Christ.
Jason, I don’t know what is your greater sin here, the fact that I think you are missing Joe’s point or the fact that you think Phil Keaggy has a great song. Kidding, sorta.
I don’t know what point you are trying to make here. If you think Joe is putting himself on a moral pedestal in this post you need to clean off your monitor and check it again. You are dead wrong.
I was going to say you guys are talking apples and oranges, but that isn’t right. Joe is talking apples and you are talking apple trees. It’s the same fundamental issue, but from different angles with different points. He has told you that you have misunderstood, now I’m telling you. Instead of trying to say Joe doesn’t understand sin or grace or whatever, try to get his point.
I will leave your Phil Keaggy comment alone, Steve, but you are bordering on blasphemy here :>)
I’m not trying to be critical of Joe in any way. I am critical of the way we demonize others who fall in a “big way.” The point is that we are all fallen. It isn’t about “us vs. them.” Us being the ones who have not fallen, them being the ones who have. Is a lustful thought really as bad as adultery? Is working 90 hours a week, or spending three days a week on the golf course the same as moving into an apartment and filing for divorce? Isn’t that the heart of what Jesus said about what really lies inside of our hearts?
Good words, Joe.
Jason, I’m not sure you haven’t taken authentic words of lament and warning and turned them into finger-pointing legalism. I’m pretty sure Joe knows he’s a sinner (don’t mean to speak for you, Joe). That, however, is decidedly beside the point.
Thanks for this post, Joe. It’s helpful and it’s timely for me. I’ve seen friends fall hard and walk away from the faith, and I’ve seen leaders I respected show themselves to have been living double lives. Everytime the latter has happened it’s effected me in at least two ways — one that I’m thankful for and one that I have to fight hard against. First of all, these experiences have made me more aware of how dependent I am on God to keep me through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. But these experiences have also brought with them the potential to make me more cynical, more suspicious. I doubt I’m alone in that, and I think the instructions you list provide a healthy way to fight against the kind of cynicism that can come from finding out a guy you saw as an example wasn’t really who he seemed to be.
Great insights Joe. Thanks for them. Dr. David Platt at Brookhills Church in Birmingham just preached a message addressing these same issues. Their former pastor admitted to a multiple year adulterous relationship. I think it’s worth a listen.
Joe,
Thanks brother for posting this. We need a sure and certain word in a day where the foundations appear to be removed.
I Corinthians 10:12 Let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. Matthew 26:41 Keep watching and praying that you mat not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
None of us are above being tempted, and therefore always susceptible to sinning. That is why Christ gave the admontion to his disciples to keep watching and praying that they may not be tempted as they could not even resist the flesh’s pull to sleep. We should never overestimate ourselves, but should humbly admit that we are in a body of flesh and are prone to the same desires that have caused others to fall. Our daily prayer should be; “Lord, let me not be tempted today as you know the weakness of my flesh. Guard my heart and my mind this day, O Lord.”
Joe,
I appreciate your challenge. We need to continually examine our hearts and be ready to repent and fall on the mercy of the Lord. I think Jason missed the point of your comments.
Thanks for the comments guys.
Jason, you have missed my point and are making one different from (not entirely contradictory to) mine. Perhaps I will re-visit your comments on a later post.
Morris - exactly.
A superb post, Joe. I wonder, do you believe your friend when he said he was never a believer to begin with?
Mark,
I am glad someone asked. When he walked away to pursue sin, ‘I love sin more than I love Jesus,” was one of the things he said, he was miserable. He remained under constant conviction from God for a few years and found no lasting pleasure in sin. God eventually broke him and he repented, returned and has been restored. He now has a Christian wife and is doing very well.
The options are, as I see it, 1) that he was converted but running from God, or 2) he was not converted until after he had pursued a life of open wickedness. I tend to think he was converted but running. Ultimately it does not matter. As I explained to him at the time: converted or not, your only hope is Jesus Christ - we must all cast ourselves on him for mercy via faith and repentance.
So glad to hear that! The churches I grew up in would have quickly judged him as “never really saved.” (The theology of that is pathetic.) I’m glad God has the long view of our salvation — and that he is faithful even when we are not. I wonder what your friend would say about what would have happened if he had continued to resist and refused to return.
I have a friend in the same situation your friend was in for awhile. I hope he is truly converted, but at this point, God only knows, and like you said, his only hope (and ours) is in Jesus Christ.
One of my mentors advised me to follow a process much like you have outlined here - it’s good to see it from another perspective. I’m kinda stuck in step #1 - Mourning, though. The others I’ve worked through, and am continuing. The thought of his wife and 3 sons being put into a position of a life w/o him is sad.
Guess I should pray that my friend is miserable…. ;}
Joe:
I think this is the best post you’ve ever put on your blog. I’ve witnessed the same sort of heart-wrenching shipwrecks of faith and wondered the very same things. Thanks for the humbling and encouraging words.
One Trackback
[...] Blogs: An excellent post by Joe Thorn about what to do when Christians we admire fall into sin. [...]