I am unplugging. I’m not talking about “living off the grid,” throwing out the computer, shutting down my blog, or canceling our internet service. I simply mean that I am unplugging from the web 2.0, instant communication, virtual world more frequently. I think technology is a good thing, and the internet is a tremendous resource, but I have been living a life of tech-dependence for the past few years that has limited my engagement and enjoyment of family, ministry and life. In fact, it is fair to say that I have been very uncomfortable if I cannot check my email/have my phone with me wherever I am, and that is a form of bondage from which I must escape.
I know I am not alone in this tech-slavery, but some of you may not know what I am talking about. Let me explain.
“Important” issues at work/church can keep us checking email or answering the phone when we are supposed to be out on a date with our wives, playing with our kids, eating dinner, etc. There was a day when some issues just had to wait until tomorrow, but technology has convinced many of us that, no matter how insignificant, nothing needs to wait until tomorrow, or even later, if we can deal with it now. My best friend once called me while I was on a date with my wife, just to rebuke me for answering my phone. Seriously, that was helpful for me.
Those who run blogs are often continuously connected to the web to watch the number of visits/comments, and respond to anyone who may want to engage their ideas. Those with a strong web-presence are often tempted to see their virtual presence as more important than their actual presence. We may not think of it that way, but when one of our children asks to play and we make them wait until the blog conversation is settled, we may have just told our little one that virtual life is more important than real life. These online conversations and debates can even more easily eclipse the importance of starting conversations with our actual neighbors in the real world. How many are willing to put hours into an online presence, carefully crafting words to share with others they will likely never meet, but are resistant to put any real effort into meeting the strangers they share the park with?
The iPod is an amazing invention. It’s one of my favorite “things.” It is tremendously useful and profitable, but it can also be a tool that interrupts our participation in community. Those little ear buds can create a private world that not only shuts the world off from you, but shuts you off from the world. Gone are the possibilities of greeting strangers, joining a conversation, and being present.
That is really what this rant is all about. Learning to unplug from tech allows me to be more “present” in the real world. You know, hand shakes, smiles, conversations about the environment, social issues and Jesus with people who share the streets and sidewalks with me.
I am not suggesting that we should “stop blogging and start winning souls for Jesus” as if the two are totally incompatible with each other. And it is unfair to assume that because someone has a strong web-presence that they are guilty of web-addiction. I am writing for those of us who have become imbalanced. I am writing of myself. What does this mean?
It means that being present must be the priority. I need to focus on my family when we spend our time together, and intentionally avoid the distractions of the phone, email, and internet. Email wont self-destruct before I read it, and we have voice mail now. Really, people can leave messages, and I can listen to them later. Genius!
It means we must define boundaries. I need to clearly define the times when we will be plugged-in, and the times we will be unplugged. This is important for family and ministry. If we set aside time for engaging in conversation in the virtual world, we had better set aside time to engage in conversation in the real world. Your wife wants to tell you about her day. Your husband wants to share his excitement about a project. Your kids want to show you what the made in art class, tell you bad jokes, and know that you are listening.
And concerning ministry – It means we must unplug more often to be faithful to the command of Christ. Jesus has sent you to a particular people, who live in a particular geographic region. He sent you to them, just as the Father sent him. We all must unplug in order to look people in the face and share our real lives with them. Doing the “work of an evangelist” is not entirely accomplished on Sunday morning, therefore you must get away from the computer and start meeting real people in real places. It’ s important to be hanging out in places were you cannot say “LOL,” but merely have to laugh out loud.
It means that when we are out, we remain available. In general, if I go out I should be available to the people around me. This typically requires that the ear buds come out, or the computer gets shut off. For example, if I go to Starbucks with my Moleskine and bible to flesh out some thoughts while drinking a grande iced coffee, unsweetened, with room, I should be open to those behind the counter, or sitting beside me. Open to conversation, open to helping someone in need, open to others connecting with me. Unplugging removes the tech barrier separating us from others. Of course there will be times when one has to be “out” but remain closed off, but in general I find that I can and should be unplugged more often than I am plugged-in.
God has been helping me let go of much of this over the past several months, but continues to show me just how unbalanced portions of my life can be. The cell phone and email are tough ones, but I am learning to let them go. So, I am spending time online within certain boundaries, while spending time in the community unplugged seeking to start conversations with people I can invite to church, my home, or to believe in Jesus. I am shutting off (or silencing) my phone in order to be fully engaged with family or friends. I am seeking to be more present in the real world – the one Jesus has sent me to.
I am the Lead Pastor of Redeemer Fellowship; husband to Jen; Dad to Katherine, Elias, Madeline, and Kilian. If you're in town you can probably find me in the local coffee house or running through the neighborhoods.
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Great post Joe. I want to interact with it, but I just don’t have anything to say but “right on.”
Joe:
I would leave you a note here telling you how right on your thinking is, but I know you probably won’t see it until next week. So, I will just call your cell phone.
Good words.
Great post. I couldn’t agree more. I think when we move in a month or so I’m going to try and go without internet at the house for a while…maybe permanently.
I’m in complete agreement with our need to disconnect and I’m trying to make an effort but haven’t been very disciplined. (as you can see at 1am)
So that is why you didn’t reply to my email. . .
Seriously Joe, thank you. Thank you for your encouragement and butt kicking both on and off line. I may not be a better blogger after having read your blog, but I am a better man, husband, and follower of Christ. And in the real world, that’s what counts. Grace.
Great post bro!
I’m heading in the same direction.
Man, and I was just getting started in this whole blogging thing…I have definitely noticed a tendency to be far more concerned with what’s going on ‘on the net’ than I ever was before. Some of us country pastors have no regular contact with anyone like-minded. The blogosphere changes that, but it becomes a significant time-sink.
Ever since the first time I guy sitting in a restaurant with his family, talking on his cell phone, I vowed I would never do that (but I have done it). My cell phone is mainly for emergencies and urgent needs only. Sure, I use it casually now and then, but very rarely, and a non-urgent call is never prioritized over what’s happening where I’m at right then. Very few people have my number, and that is intentional. I remember that we functioned quite well in our society before cell phones invaded our every moment and location. I think many people tend to forget that. OTOH, I’m not a pastor, who carries the burden of being available to an entire church, as well as to family. If I were, I guess the trick would be finding the proper balance, which it sounds like you are working thru.
And while I love to hear music as often as possible, I always avoided headphones/earbuds in public places – I love the sound of the world. Life has its own music, and even when it sounds like noise, you can still find beauty in the sound – if you listen closely.
Well done Joe. I think this is something we all need to work on. I realised recently that I was spending loads of time on facebook but it didn’t have anything to do with life. “Fred is at work” – yep, I know … I work in the same office as you!
I’d be interested to hear where you will draw the boundaries and what changes you’ll be making …
I went “unplugged” for a few months earlier this year, and it helped me set new, more balanced habits. It is counter-cultural to disconnect from constant communication, but it is a huge blessing and opens up time for other valuable activities and for thought that is more than bite-sized. Your explanation is certainly more eloquent than mine was!
Joe –
I think you’re about right, but I think if you drop the cellphone and got to a paper planner I’ll bet the rest of your tech dependency will dwindle. Give yourself one access point for e-mail/the web (your office, not home) and I’ll bet you clean up real good.
Haven’t stopped by since Founders — how’s things?
I’m a techie (got an advanced degree in engineering to prove it), but I unplug. I have kids and a husband and a real life that has to take priority. I was never a cell-phone person since I have some hearing loss that makes in general difficult for me, but internet communication is so easily absorbing.
Part of the solution was to consciously take a Sabbath rest from it. I starting not logging in on Sundays and then extended it to the whole weekend (most of the time).
Good stuff Joe. I heartily agree. It seems like a lot of people have been coming to same realization at the same time. It certainly becomes an issue because you end up spending more time online than you do reading good books, having conversation, spending time with people, or serving in your community. So thanks for the challenge…I am often in need of a good butt kicking.
I agree. I have a wife and kids and am active in various ministries in my church. There must be a boundary to keep these things in balance.
On the flip side, I type much better than I speak and have difficulty communicating vocally. People tend to ignore me or interrupt me when I speak. Conversations tend to be monologues and group discussions tend to leave me utterly out of the loop. Consequently, I don’t develop meaningful relationships offline like I can online. It’s a wonder that I got married. Before the advent of the Internet, I had to be satisfied with a lack of close friends. Face to face, I’m certain that most of the people who read this would have interrupted me after the first sentence if they allowed me to begin at all.
If we were to poll most overactive Internet users, I suggest that we would find many who are plugged in because they lack the social skills to interact effectively with others. That stated, if we wish to admonish people to unplug, how are we to encourage healthy face-to-face discourse where close relationships can be developed offline?
Sometimes when I see a gentleman at church with a cell phone attached to his hip, I ask him if he is expecting a phone call, and he will say something like it is for work. But, if the phone is off, which it should be during worship, then why not leave it in the car? We give a powerful message about our focus when we bring these toys with us. Ladies, you aren’t off the hook either. Do you bring your huge purse with you into church? Do you keep it hooked to your shoulder while singing the hymns? It is a good thing to leave our worldly interests in the car, so as not to be distracted from the world of Sunday around you.
I read in one of the publications that I scan from time to time that many companies have instituted a no-email Friday having found that by and large people who leave their e-mail program open spend 1 1/2 hours a day maintaining it. And suprisingly, many people have in-boxes full of stuff they haven’t attended to yet.
A year ago when I upgrade my Mac system, the IT guy told me to do this or that and when I did, I lost 3 1/2 years of stuff that I would occasionally reference. Printer’s quotes and mail dates and so forth. I called these people and re-constructed the rest of what I needed and really didn’t miss the rest of the 9 or 10 thousand e-mails I hadn’t deleted for one reason or the other. It’s like magazines you mean to read and months go past and still you can’t throw them away because there is lots of good stuff in them.
I will say this: my job won’t wait for me to read them. I will find the info I need to make the decisions I need when I need it.
When my e-mails got washed away I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of me. Did I learn something—yes and no. My current in-box has several thousand e-mails in it. Every now and then I take the time to delete some old stuff but then get back to the real world of busy, busy, busy.
I used to love to read the paper at lunch. I even went so far one day when someone I knew invited me to their table to decline in order to catch up on the news. Th Holy Spirit got me later and said that live is always better than canned and now I look for opportunities to eat with those who are so inclined.
Keep up the good work.
Yup. I did the same thing this Summer and it helped…well it helped everything. Glad to hear it.
Josh
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