My wife has an article up at Time Warp Wife encouraging wives to know their place in marriage. It's a great article that I hope you will read carefully. You can also "like" her Facebook page to stay up to date on all the things she is writing.
One of the reasons many wives struggle in their marriages is because they refuse to embrace the role God has given them as helper to their husband. The word “helper” ruffles their feather and their pride demands a higher position, a more noble title. But such desires sabotage marriage and prevent us from fulfilling our calling.